That is a lovely piece of writing! I love how you have used advanced punctuation such as the ellipsis. At the end I love how you had asked a question. There is one thing I have noticed such as rong it is actually spelt as wrong. Other then that I think you have made a brilliant effort! Well done! 😉 : ) 🙂 🙂 😉
Oh my goodness, such a dramatic ending! But you spelt ‘new’ wrong it should be ‘knew’ and you spelt ‘rong’ it should be ‘wrong’, also I think you could have used different words instead of Ivan and grandfather, it would have made the reader a bit bored. Otherwise, it was brilliant!
Dear Princess,
I quite enjoyed your story, it had a good build up but it was slightly lost amongst mistakes. For example:
rong, is actually spelt wrong. New, is actually spelt knew. And ellipses only need three dots…
Oh, and the story wasn’t really related to an ice palace…
But apart from that, I really enjoyed your story. Keep writing Princess!
Hello I have really enjoyed your piece of work . As you said it is a sad story well that was surely right. The story maked me want to read more. Well done.
from Amaan
Gearies primary school
HI I like the way you described your story and also I like the way where you ran to your grandfather because it shows that you really like him a lot.
by Zaynab from Gearies primary school
hi I like the way you put in lots of description and showed that you liked your grandfather a lot because you ran to him.
by Zaynab from Gearies primary school
That is a lovely piece of writing! I love how you have used advanced punctuation such as the ellipsis. At the end I love how you had asked a question. There is one thing I have noticed such as rong it is actually spelt as wrong. Other then that I think you have made a brilliant effort! Well done! 😉 : ) 🙂 🙂 😉
From Sara Gearies Primary School
Oh my goodness, such a dramatic ending! But you spelt ‘new’ wrong it should be ‘knew’ and you spelt ‘rong’ it should be ‘wrong’, also I think you could have used different words instead of Ivan and grandfather, it would have made the reader a bit bored. Otherwise, it was brilliant!
Keep writing!
Dear Princess,
I quite enjoyed your story, it had a good build up but it was slightly lost amongst mistakes. For example:
rong, is actually spelt wrong. New, is actually spelt knew. And ellipses only need three dots…
Oh, and the story wasn’t really related to an ice palace…
But apart from that, I really enjoyed your story. Keep writing Princess!
Hello I have really enjoyed your piece of work . As you said it is a sad story well that was surely right. The story maked me want to read more. Well done.
from Amaan
Gearies primary school
HI I like the way you described your story and also I like the way where you ran to your grandfather because it shows that you really like him a lot.
by Zaynab from Gearies primary school
hi I like the way you put in lots of description and showed that you liked your grandfather a lot because you ran to him.
by Zaynab from Gearies primary school
I like your work and Punsaition by Chelsea