Well done Leon. You have told the story of the robot and the butterfly in past tense. Please remember to check your mistakes and here are some spelling corrections: strength is spelled like this. Also check for missing words that you haven’t put. You can improve by adding some more adjectives, connectives and a different range of punctuation but overall this work is great. By Natalie
I enjoyed reading your story. I liked it when you used expressions and discribeable words.You can improve it by using more puntiuation like more commas or maybe brackets. By Maisha
This is excellent Leon, it is really good and though you have used a range of vocabulary I do not quite understand Utopian, unless you mean Utopia then I suppose it would make sense. But well done for your fantastic effort.
Well done Leon. You have told the story of the robot and the butterfly in past tense. Please remember to check your mistakes and here are some spelling corrections: strength is spelled like this. Also check for missing words that you haven’t put. You can improve by adding some more adjectives, connectives and a different range of punctuation but overall this work is great. By Natalie
I enjoyed reading your story. I liked it when you used expressions and discribeable words.You can improve it by using more puntiuation like more commas or maybe brackets. By Maisha
I love this is story and it is rally fun reading your story by Christopher
This is excellent Leon, it is really good and though you have used a range of vocabulary I do not quite understand Utopian, unless you mean Utopia then I suppose it would make sense. But well done for your fantastic effort.
A good piece Leon. You have given us lots of information and description. Try to use different connectives other than ‘then’. Keep writing! Mrs Wells
leon this is lovely i like the use of language lots of discription