This is a very good piece and the second paragraph gives explanatory adjectives, e.g. you described the way the butterfly moved and what it looked like.
However you could improve on your spellings and also for missing words.
This good Denis because you have described what it felt like to be trapped. However you can improve in some ways. Please check your spelling;you wrote gental instead of gentle. It was good though. Natalie
Well done, Denis. You have described the scene really well and given us an insight into the robot’s mind. You could try to add to the description of the aftermath! Keep writing! Mrs Wells
This is a very good piece and the second paragraph gives explanatory adjectives, e.g. you described the way the butterfly moved and what it looked like.
However you could improve on your spellings and also for missing words.
That is excellent and I think there needs more writing so it will interest me by Christopher
This is really good and I would say more information however you missed some letters in some words so I would read it next time by Paige & Rosie
This good Denis because you have described what it felt like to be trapped. However you can improve in some ways. Please check your spelling;you wrote gental instead of gentle. It was good though. Natalie
Well done, Denis. You have described the scene really well and given us an insight into the robot’s mind. You could try to add to the description of the aftermath! Keep writing! Mrs Wells